


Re:happiness

by Shinocchi



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Emotional, Established Relationship, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Honeymoon, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Canon, Tanned Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vacation, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinocchi/pseuds/Shinocchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been five years since their marriage and everything had been nothing but great. </p><p>Aoba thought that this was the ultimate happiness he would encounter in his entire life, until Noiz proposed a new idea, instantly proving him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Happiness

 

He didn't even know why he agreed to Noiz’s idea.

Noiz’s career had taken a huge step up ever since the ten years they moved to Germany. Aoba never had any doubts about his husband. He knew it’d be just matter of time for Noiz to finally settle into living a real, proper life. He knew that his husband would do not only well, but prodigious in his own way. Across the years they’d spent their time together, Aoba had witnessed how dedicated and how gifted Noiz was, in turn building him into the responsible man he now was.

He was definitely a grown up now, but there was no way Aoba could dismiss the ‘brat’ impression he had towards him. Because no matter how much Noiz had grown, he’d never lose that sense of curiosity, that sense of slight innocence (especially when it concerned Aoba), and above all, that sense of passion, and of love he still held very strongly towards Aoba.

“Perverted brat,” Aoba smiled, mumbling under his breath as he sat on the deck. They were now on a big cruise, owned by Noiz, needless to say, and there was no one around besides them, which gave them the perfect privacy they needed.

… Or more like the privacy Noiz had created for them.

Over the years, Noiz finally had a better sense of managing his own assets. Aoba had ultimately given up on lecturing Noiz too much when it came to Noiz pouring buckets of money – metaphorically or not – on him. He finally understood that it was Noiz’s way of showing how much he loved his husband, and Aoba had no rights and no heart to stop him from doing that either.

And yet, Noiz never failed to surprise him, catching him off guard as he found himself constantly clutching on his own chest to calm himself down unless risking a heart attack. He thought he finally managed to keep up with Noiz’s thinking pace. But even after a decade, it was proven that probably he still had a long way more to go. Noiz still managed to trip his feet, at times when he least expected it.

Like the cruise vacation Noiz had arranged for them this time.

The cruise was almost as huge as their house, causing Aoba to drop his jaw the moment he saw the ship. He didn’t even know Noiz owned this cruise. All Noiz told him was that they were going for a sail and the first thing that had popped into Aoba’s head was a small boat in which they had to maneuver by themselves. He even researched on things to consider when they row the ‘boat’. But his effort was deemed unnecessary after all.

“Having fun?”

Pulled back to reality, Aoba opened his eyes and looked up just to see Noiz standing right beside him, shirtless with a pair of swimming trunks and two glasses of ice lemon tea in his hands.

He took one of the glasses off Noiz’s hand and sipped on it before he responded.

“The sea breeze is nice.”

“Thought you might like it.”

Noiz then settled on the empty seat beside him, joining him in gazing towards oblivion as they quietly sipped on their drinks.

“So how long will we be here?” Aoba asked out of curiosity, putting his glass on a table by his side before he put his hands behind his head, preparing to go back to enjoy the calm sea wind.

“As long as you like,” Noiz replied nonchalantly, placing his own glass beside Aoba’s and shifting nearer to him.

“No, seriously. How about work?” Aoba badgered, turning around slightly to see Noiz giving out a small smirk.

“No need to worry about that,” Noiz said before he raised a finger to caress Aoba’s cheekbones. “What’s more important now is if you enjoy this trip.”

“I surely do,” Aoba said without hesitance. Noiz spoiled him way too much. Across time, he realized that neither lecturing nor complaining could stop him. So instead, he decided that the best way to go about it was simply to tell Noiz how much he loved all that Noiz did for him, simply because he wanted to see that relieved smile on Noiz face that he had come to love.

And that exact smile was now plastered on Noiz’s face as he leaned towards Aoba to kiss him softly on the lips.

It was surreal how they’d managed to end up with how they were now, Aoba thought as they entwined their fingers together. Resting his head against Noiz’s shoulder, he immediately felt Noiz encircling his arm around his body to pull him closer and ultimately resting his head on Aoba’s head.

The peaceful atmosphere did things to him. As he felt Noiz’s warmth enveloping his hand, his body, and the warm breath he occasionally felt on his face when Noiz shifted down slightly to brush their noses together, he couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened to them, the surrealism continued piling within him as he gave out a small laugh, interrupting the silence.

“What is it?” Noiz asked almost immediately.

“Nothing,” Aoba said in between laughs. “I’m just randomly reminded of how the once cheeky brat has turned into such a different person altogether. It’s amazing.”

He expected Noiz to retort, probably with a ‘I’m not cheeky’ as how he always did. But when Noiz kept to himself, he stopped grinning and looked at him instead. Noiz was deep in his own thoughts, a thin scowl appeared in between his eyebrows as he tightened his grip on Aoba’s hand.

“If you’re wondering if I regretted, I’m telling you now that I don’t,” Aoba responded with obvious firmness in his tone. He was about to flick a finger against his forehead when Noiz grabbed his hand instead, stopping him and pulling his hand towards his mouth.

“Oi, Noiz…”

“I know. But,” Noiz muttered against his fingertips before he looked up to meet Aoba’s curious gaze. “You never asked me if I regretted.”

Aoba felt his heart stop. They thought they’d resolved this years back, specifically the night before they departed to Germany together and he never once thought that Noiz would bring this up again.

His astonishment obviously showed on his face as Noiz gave the back of his hand a quick peck before he pulled his head over to kiss his forehead.

“If you’re thinking about anything unnecessary again, stop,” he muttered fervently after another soft kiss on the cheek. “I’m not implying that I regretted, it was just a statement.”

He should’ve known. And he really needed to do something about this habit of getting edgy over almost anything.

“If you’re still hesitant…” Noiz trailed off at the last of his word, still beaming at Aoba’s lack of response before he stood up, grabbing onto Aoba’s hand and urging him to stand up with him as well.

He guided Aoba to the edge of the deck, in which he pointed at an island, where Aoba could vaguely see a huge resort by the beach.

He didn't even need Noiz to tell him what was going to happen.

“You see that house over there?”

He nodded. It shouldn't come as a surprise, Noiz obviously had more things planned than what he already had. He should’ve expected it.

“I’m going to make you mine again over there.”

… But this, he was sure he wouldn't have expected it no matter how hard he was to guess.

 

***

 

He really cannot understand how he managed to fall into the brat’s trap all over again even after ten years of residing together and five years of calling each other their husbands.

The place was quiet, as unobtrusive as the cruise they were just on few hours ago. It was obviously new but the decorations and the furniture Noiz had decided to install in this resort were very similar to their own house – in fact, it felt _almost_ like their own house if not because of the space difference – that Aoba felt instantly at home from the first step he took into the space.

Noiz never explained further about what he meant by ‘making him his again’ after throwing him such an ambiguous statement. When Aoba urged him to tell him more, he merely gave him a smirk before he trapped him in his arms with his back pressing against the railing and started giving him passionate kisses that immediately distracted his attention away.

Now that he was once again left alone in the enormous space, he couldn't help but wonder what Noiz had in plan this time. Heat rose to his face when he thought of the fact that Noiz might be referring to something that had to do with more physical contacts but it didn't make sense after all – not when Noiz had purposefully bought a _resort_ just for that mere purpose.

But come to think about it… perhaps it was possible after all. It was _Noiz_ he was dealing with here.

He needed to massage his head with his thumbs to stop himself from thinking too deep into the situation.

“I tried to make it as comfortable as possible,” Noiz’s voice echoed from the corridor outside the room he was sitting in. “What do you think?”

“Good,” Aoba said weakly. “Feels like home.”

Noiz’s smile told Aoba that this was the answer he was waiting for.

 

Night came shortly after they unpacked their luggage. It really did feel like home, especially when Aoba decided that he should cook them dinner – a weak attempt to appreciate Noiz’s thoughts. Noiz helped out as usual, but a simple dinner soon turned into a candlelight dinner when Noiz took the wine glasses and candle holder out of the cabinet, instantly washing insecurity all over Aoba as he stared at his weakly presented roast chicken.

“You should’ve told me,” he complained as Noiz pulled the chair for him.

“But you’d end up thinking too much about it and that’s the last thing I want. I want you to relax for this.”

Noiz had a point. Sighing, he stared at the roast chicken he had been struggling with for the past hours while Noiz sat opposite him.

“Wine?”

“Not too much,” Aoba said, pushing the wine glass towards Noiz.

“It doesn't matter if you get drunk anyway, the room is just few steps away. I can carry you there.”

“That’s not the point,” Aoba pouted. “I’m sure you have big plans for tomorrow, right? The last thing I want is to ruin your plan.”

Noiz merely gave him a smirk, instantly telling Aoba that he wouldn't mind a single bit. But the idea of Aoba interrupting Noiz’s effort wasn't something he could stomach so he gave Noiz another scowl before he raised his wine glass.

“Thanks for everything,” he said while Noiz mirrored his action.

“I say the same.”

 

He was slightly tipsy when they finally made their way to the bed. Even though they were a distance away from the sea now, Aoba could still hear the sea waves hitting against shore outside their window and it acted as an effective lullaby, slowly luring him to sleep.

He was almost falling asleep when he felt Noiz joining him in bed, pulling him closer by the waist until his back was pressing against his chest before Noiz wrapped him firmly in both of his arms, his heart skipped a beat when he felt how warm Noiz was. He didn't get to check if Noiz was drunk but he was definitely more clingy than usual, his hands now teasingly sliding along Aoba’s torso, his lips pressed against the back of Aoba’s neck, occasionally licking on it before he started sucking on the same spot where he’d just licked.

“N-Noiz, are you drunk?”

“… Not really.”

Noiz then turned Aoba around so that he could now look properly into his eyes. He was slightly flushed, his eyes slightly damped but he held a look that spelled want and Aoba couldn't help but reach out to touch his face, once again feeling the warmth against his palm that spread straight into his own chest.

It was surreal. It really was. As he stared into Noiz’s eyes, then at the spots where his piercings once were, he broke into an instinctive smile. He was looking at the same brat that he’d encountered ten years ago – the same brat who broke into his house and demanded him for a Rhyme match and who nearly broke the arm he was using to touch his face now. It was the same brat who had questioned him about all the most conventional things in the world; the same brat who had almost thrown his life away for him; and the same brat who had confessed and disappeared for three whole months just for him.

Overwhelmed by his own memories, Aoba pressed a kiss on Noiz’s forehead, feeling Noiz embracing him tighter and feeling Noiz’s furious heart beats against his own chest. Since when did Noiz start growing, he wondered. Since when did the brat turn out to be such a responsible person? How did he even manage to miss this when he was literally the closest person to him?

“Aoba,” Noiz called out in a small whisper as he pressed his head against Aoba’s face. Aoba merely responded by ruffling him on the hair.

“Aoba,” Noiz called out again, as if waiting for Aoba to respond.

“Hm?”

“Listen,” His voice was only one tone higher but it was loud enough to reach straight into Aoba’s ears. “I know this might not be as good as how I did it five years back but…” He could literally feel Noiz’s warm breath by his ear. “I want to do it again. About tomorrow’s plan…”

Aoba wanted to ask what exactly did he want to do again, but then Noiz was nipping on his earlobe, in which he gave it a final swipe of tongue before he whispered hotly into Aoba’s ear.

 

“ _Will you marry me again?_ ”

 

***

 

He remembered Noiz asking him this very same question five years back, when they had finally, completely settled down in Germany. The idea of marriage – of finally settling down – with someone that had meant the world to them had never once occurred to him. He thought being able to make such a huge step, driving his way out of his comfort zone, and earning himself an important spot by Noiz’s side was already more than he could ever asked for. But apparently, Noiz thought differently.

Probably to Noiz, asking his permission to come over with him to Germany was just a start, not even a progress. He knew he’d underestimated what Noiz could do, more so to what he constantly had in mind. He also knew that it wasn't that Noiz wasn't willing to share with him, but he just didn't know how to.

So when Noiz finally made his move and proposed to him five years after they ended up together, he was caught completely by surprise. He remembered staring at Noiz’s face, unmoved and unsure of what to do or say, until Noiz took his hands, clutching – with a faint hint of shiver – and asked, with that very firm tone of his – ‘Will you spend the rest of your life with me?’.

He never grasped the concept of getting married. For Aoba, it was only a form of black and white, and he never understood how does one thin paper changed everything between them. He didn't deem it necessary.

Not until Noiz started calling him ‘his husband’ that he felt this sudden spasm of warmth in his chest. The tears that caught him off guard when they recited the vow told him enough that this wasn't unnecessary after all – this was what it was meant to be, to truly belong to someone, not only physically, mentally, but also publicly just like that.

It was a form of acknowledgment – something that they wanted to show the world, and something to tell the world how this person beside them was who they were going to protect for the rest of their life.

And it was also how they wanted to tell the world how happy and how lucky they were to have bonded with their now husband.

 

So when Noiz whispered that exact same life-changing statement in his ear again, it took him a few moments to settle down the overwhelmed waves of emotions within him before he said, with a very feeble tone of his own.

 

_“I… I’ll say it again no matter how many times you ask. Yes, I will, Noiz.” Before Noiz could say anything, he quickly cleared his throat. “Will you, Noiz, marry me?”_

_Noiz chuckled._

_“Of course I will.”_

 

So that was how it was. The last time they got married, they were surrounded by people – friends, families – but that was simply a form of respect they deemed they owed to their families and friends especially when they had departed to Germany just like that. They were surrounded by blessings, wishes, happiness. Even after that, they’d spent their own quality time indulging in the passion they gave each other and merely enjoying the very private time they deserved.

But obviously, Noiz was still having his own reservation towards how they’d conducted their wedding. And obviously, it had taken him years to finally break the word to Aoba.

Aoba didn't ask too much about it. Noiz always had his own reasons for the decisions he made – more so when it concerned Aoba – so Aoba decided to wait, and to go with his flow because he knew that Noiz would eventually spill the beans at him anyway.

There was no need to rush.

This time, though, even when it was done with the same purpose in mind, the whole mood was different. Previously, they had people running in and out of their rooms to groom them up and the countless questions people had thrown at them had them winded and tired. But now, it was only the both of them. No one to rush them out of their rooms, and no one to interrupt the time they are spending with each other.

 

They woke up together the next morning, right before dawn and merely smiling at each other before they spent some time cuddling under the blanket. Aoba had always thought that this vacation would be like another one of those that Noiz had insisted to take on an annual basis. But this time, especially _today_ , when Aoba knew that it was going to be a day when they reassured each other that they’d continue walking their paths together for the rest of their lives, it unconsciously instilled a faint sense of apprehension within him that had Aoba buried his head in Noiz’s chest, still completely overwhelmed.

Noiz wasn't any better either. He could feel Noiz tracing his collarbone, visibly considering something while he brushed his fingers through his hair.

And they remained quiet like that for another hour before Noiz finally kissed him awake.

“Shower?”

“Together.”

He had no idea of Noiz’s plans so he nodded, decided to leave matters into Noiz’s hands.

Noiz refused to allow Aoba move an inch when the water was finally on the right temperature. His touch when he wiped the sponge across Aoba’s chest was extremely gentle, so as the following gesture that made its way to Aoba’s back, and eventually, his entire body. When Noiz wiped soap on Aoba’s face, Aoba smiled at him and did the same to his face, causing Noiz to halt for mere seconds before he returned his smile and went back to work.

If not Aoba had insisted, Noiz wouldn't even allow Aoba to wash his body for him as well.

 

When they were done, Noiz went into the wardrobe and brought out two well-ironed sets of three piece suit. But instead of the black ones they’d wore during their wedding five years ago, the ones Noiz brought them were white in color and, needless to say, custom-made.

“Woah, you really had everything thought out. Exactly how long have you been planning for this?” Aoba asked as Noiz took the two sets of attire out for a final tidy up. But as Noiz delayed his response, Aoba sneaked up to him and poked him on the ribs.

“Don’t tell me ever since we got married.”

Noiz hummed, grabbing Aoba’s hand from his sides and kissing his fingers.

“You should’ve told me,” Aoba scowled, pressing the back of his hand against Noiz’s face to have Noiz leaning closer into his touch.

“I didn't particularly dislike it,” Noiz explained, putting the suits carefully back on the bed before he hugged on Aoba’s waist. “I just wanted to also have one that solely belongs to both of us.”

He understood where Noiz was coming from, so he returned Noiz’s embrace by encircling his arms around Noiz’s neck, pulling him closer so that he could kiss him on the nose.

“Still, you should’ve told me,” he said quietly. “I could at least help you out.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Noiz confessed, now nuzzling the tip of his nose against Aoba’s.

“Seriously…” Aoba trailed off as he gave out a small laugh. “What if I’m against it?”

Noiz gave him a sideway look that pronounced greatly of tease.

“I don’t call myself your boyfriend for ten years and your husband for five years for nothing, you know.”

Well, he had a point there. Smacking Noiz on the head, Aoba pushed Noiz away and pointed at the neatly arranged formal attires on the bed.

“Now let’s see how well you know me, brat.”

Noiz did not need to be told twice. Giving Aoba a final kiss on the lips, he proceeded to take the towel wrapping his lower body off – doing the same for himself – before he took Aoba’s three piece suit off the bed.

“You want me to wear it for you? Or—“

“I can do it myself,” Aoba interrupted. “I want to surprise you, at least. And I can’t let you do all the work.”

He knew Noiz didn't mind a bit even if he had to do every single task that was needed to complete the plan. But Aoba had his own plan as well, something which had been bugging his mind ever since he found out about Noiz’s plan.

 

His new wedding attire was clean, simple, and even grandiose looking. Of the many times he was afraid to accidentally produce even a crease on it, it was even a miracle to be able to finish dressing himself up. The final touch would be his hair, which was still untied and untrimmed.  He was about to comb it, tying it up like how he did on the morning he left Midorijima with Noiz, like how Koujaku did for him when he got married the last time. But instead, he merely twirled the ends of some of the strands, took one final pull of his white-colored tie, straightened himself up and – finally feeling waves of nervousness with a mix of excitement washing all over him – opened the door of the bathroom before Noiz could knock on his door to ask if he was doing okay.

“I-I’m done.”

The moment the saw each other, all they did was standing rooted on the spot, eyes fixed unwaveringly at each other while Aoba gaped at the mere sight in front of him.

He almost thought he was looking at a person he never knew.

Since when did Noiz grow so much? He didn't remember acting so dumbfounded when he first saw him in his wedding attire five years back. He didn't remember feeling this intense beats within his chest; he didn't remember experiencing the feeling of falling all over in love with him again.

Since when did Noiz become such a gorgeous grown up? Since when did he lose track of his growth?

And since when… did he lose the brat he was once so familiar with?

Noiz’s hair was pulled back, perfectly highlighting his beautiful features and gorgeous facial outline. His lime-green orbs were even more pronounced now that there were no strands of hair covering them. He was wearing the similar white suit he had prepared for Aoba, a white-colored tie and a blue-colored inner shirt to complement the sleekness.

He knew Noiz was good-looking, he already had that impression implanted firmly in his head ever since the first time he got to see him properly. But his boyfriend – now almost husband again – had grown even better looking over the ten years of growth. There was now a new sense of maturity in him, even the smirk he was so fond with now projected a sense of sensuality that Aoba couldn't help but stare, with his mouth slightly open.

“You’re not really done yet.”

Noiz’s smile and Noiz’s voice when he walked towards Aoba painted a deeper flush on Aoba’s face as he felt his legs shiver a little. He could literally feel this overwhelming tension when Noiz closed their distance, causing him to swallow down his throat a few times just to contain his nerves.

“W-what’s with your hair?” That was the only coherent question he could blurt out, at least it was better than his initial thought of asking why Noiz was so good looking today, or that first question of 'who are you?' when he first saw him.

“Does it suit me?” Noiz asked, reaching up to play with the strands that he’d styled on his front before he reached out to play with Aoba’s instead. “Yours is not done yet, though.”

As if the touch acted as a slap for Aoba, he coughed loudly, folding his arms as he pouted at Noiz.

“W-well, I thought you might want to, you know, style it for me… or something.”

Ugh, this is so embarrassing, Aoba thought, his words turning small at the end as he averted Noiz’s eyes, face red and throat dry.

Noiz took some time to brush his hair, untangling some of them before he answered.

“My pleasure.”

 

When Koujaku did it for him, he thought that his touches were indeed gentle, and they were obviously expert touches, considering how he struggled when he’d tried doing it for himself once. And now, he could say the same for Noiz. As he sat in front of the mirror, he could see Noiz’s serious expression from the reflection, seeing how his hands expertly dived in and out of his hair, putting unsettled strands neatly in place as he tidied them up into a high ponytail. It almost made him feel as if Noiz had even purposely learned it just for this day.

When he was done, he turned Aoba around so that they were now looking at each other. Aoba was trying very hard to avert his gaze for the entire time, his face still burning. He already saw how he looked like in the mirror, but now that Noiz was practically _staring_ at him, he suddenly felt extremely self-conscious, until Noiz came down to his eye level and pressed their foreheads together.

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled, which caused Aoba to stroke his cheek reflexively before he returned Noiz’s compliment with a ‘you too’.

Tiny actions like these probably meant nothing for others. But for both Noiz and Aoba, they meant everything. It was the sentiment of witnessing the growth of one’s partner, noticing new things about each other, and discovering familiar things about each other that had reassured them that this was the person they fell in love with, that this was the person who they wanted to share their lives with.

Like how Aoba had noticed how much Noiz had grown throughout the years, Noiz also noticed how much Aoba had changed throughout the time they’d spent with each other. Aoba already had that sense of maturity when Noiz met him. But now, he was more than that – in fact, a lot more than how Noiz once perceived him to be. Aoba was… everything. He could be overly conscious at times but at the end of the day, he’d settle down and take things into his own hands, resolving it in his very own ways that often left Noiz in a state of bewilderment. Then, he also developed a more sensual side that Noiz suspected was a result of how much he’d adapted to Noiz’s personality.

Aoba was two sides of a coin.

But no matter how much they’d grown and changed, there was one thing that was certain about them –they still loved each other greatly, and they would continue growing with each other while they still hold on to the very initial perception of how each other were from the very start.

When Noiz took his hand in his, he could once again feel the very faint trembles of his hand. Even after all these years, even after all the teases Noiz had given him about how insecure Aoba could be, Aoba knew that Noiz wasn't any much better than him either. So he returned his grasp with a firmer one of his own, intertwining their fingers together as they walked out of the house and into the back yard, a spot where Aoba hadn't gotten the chance to take a look yet.

The whole place was filled with a field of forget-me-not, a few rabbits were set free as they ran around the green field. And at the very edge of the field was an arch, in which a few enormous hologram screens were up and projecting images of the five years they’d spent after pronouncing each other their husbands.

“Is this be how you envision our wedding to be?” Noiz asked cautiously as they stood and stared at the place.

It was open-aired, the field of flowers beautifully trimmed and the mere visual of rabbits nuzzling their cheeks against each other reminded Aoba vividly about them while he nodded.

“I tried tracing back your thoughts and—“

“You understand me too well,” Aoba interrupted. “You _know_ I’ll definitely include these.”

He was pointing at a pair of rabbits who were sharing their food.

“Because it seemed like you could never take your mind off the fact that I liked rabbits ever since you found out about it.”

That was true. In fact, it was a weapon Aoba often used to counterattack Noiz just to see a faint tint of pink appearing on his cheeks.

He simply couldn't help it. There were some parts of Noiz that had amazed and endeared him at the same time and he couldn't help but bringing it out whenever he got the chance just because they meant so much to him – that Noiz could also be so cute, that he was also human, and that he also had something he _adored_.

“Come here,” Noiz took a step in front of them and held out his hand, smiling as he urged Aoba to take it.

This time, Noiz’s grasp was firmer as he occasionally brushed his thumb against the back of Aoba’s hand and evoking a small chuckle out of him whenever he did that. When they finally stood near the podium where the hologram screens now projected a series of the celebrations and daily perks they’d gone through together, Aoba unconsciously shifted his attention to them, giving out small laughs again when he saw a scene where Noiz had cream all over his face when they first attempted to bake a cake together.

Those were small things. They knew it. But those were things – memories – that they’d experienced together, and that reason alone was strong enough to tell them that they weren't small for them at all.

When Noiz grabbed both of his hands, he turned his attention back to him, and was instantly captivated by the stare Noiz was giving him – it was a stare so intense and yet Aoba could feel Noiz trembling slightly in his hands. Noiz probably rehearsed this scene for a million times already; he probably experienced sleepless nights just to get this right.

He did all of these for Aoba because he thought Aoba deserved it.

And Aoba was going to tell him just the same thing.

“Before you say anything,” Aoba quickly started as soon as he saw Noiz opening his mouth. “I want to tell you something first.”

He paused, took a deep breath then ruffled Noiz on the hair.

“When I was young, I once thought that all I ever needed was granny. I missed my parents, I loved them with all my heart. But there’re some things that I can’t control and once I thought having control means being able to do whatever I want without the need for any restraints. I thought that was the best way to live. I was wild, I was immature. I was just… all over the place.”

He paused again at the end of his words, looking up to see Noiz still staring at him, eagerly waiting for what he wanted to say next. Finding it endearing, he pinched Noiz on the nose.

“That was why when I first met you, it reminded me of myself.”

Noiz’s lips curved slightly higher, returning Aoba’s favor by pinching him on his nose instead.

“Now you make me want to see how you was when you were my age.”                    

“You mean when I was nineteen?” Aoba responded. “Don’t bother, you’ll just be reminded of yourself.”

“That’s even more interesting,” Noiz smirked.

“My point is,” Aoba disturbed, purposely heightened his volume. “I kind of understand how it felt to be… you know, alone.”

That seemed to have effectively shut Noiz up.

“You acted like you didn't care, that you were fine being alone. Maybe it was fine for you, but it wasn't, you know it, and _I_ know it.” Then, he smiled at Noiz, bringing his hands to cup Noiz’s face as he stared into Noiz’s wavering lime green eyes. “I told you before, remember? That you can’t be alone, that I would never allow you to be alone. And I was right. See where you are now. See how much you've grown. I’m so, so proud of you, Noiz.”

Noiz’s response was little; but soon, he raised his own hands, putting them on top of Aoba’s as he pressed them firmer to his face. The heat was barely visible against Aoba’s palms. Pressing their foreheads together, Aoba continued.

“Yeah, I was angry when you left without a word for three months, but above all, I was worried. And then you came back and you were all different and of course I was surprised. But you were fine and that was all that ever mattered. That was the only thing I cared,” Closing his eyes, he continued slowly, allowing the memories from a decade ago to slowly slip into the stream of his memories again. “And you just kept giving me all kinds of surprise – from how you asked me to follow you to Germany, to how you went to my house, how you adapted an entirely new life, to how you proposed, how we got married and now,” He opened his eyes, just to see Noiz still staring into his. There was a faint hint of dampness in his eyes now but he wasn't going to allow himself to break down before he finished saying what he wanted to say. “When you asked me again, I’m surprised, that’s for sure. But more importantly, I _want_ to, Noiz. I’ll marry you no matter many how times you ask. My answer will never change. Because from the moment since you asked me to follow you to Germany, I've never regretted my choice. Not even once.”

He could obviously see the abundant emotions in Noiz’s eyes now; he was _sure_ that Noiz was so tempted to hug him but was patiently waiting for him to finish his words. So he continued, after playing with a few strands of Noiz’s styled hair in front of this forehead.

“So, Noiz, listen. This might not be in your plan but,” He gave out a soft cough, now with their roles reversed, he took Noiz’s hands in his, smiling at him and still trying very hard not to break down. “This is probably not even in _anyone’s_ plan, it might not even be legally right but I want you to listen to me. Can you do that?”

Noiz only managed to nod as he tightened his grasp on Aoba’s hands, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for what was to come.

“Will you, Noiz, promise me, no matter what is to happen in the future, to always stay strong, to always fight for what you want, and to always follow the road you believe in?”

Aoba stopped, looking at Noiz expectantly while Noiz nodded.

“I will.” His voice almost cracked.

“Will you, Noiz, promise me, to always put yourself before others, to remember that you also deserve happiness, and to remember that you have all the rights to break down, to fail, and to keep trying again?”

“I will.”

“Will you, Noiz,” This time, it was Aoba’s turn to stutter as he swallowed down his throat, over and over again, only speaking when he was perfectly sure that he was still composed. “Allow me to stay by your side, to continue witnessing your growth, and to…” He paused again to take another deep breath. “…to allow me to grow with you, to assist you through thick and thins, to enjoy and surpass the happiness and obstacles we’re about to face, for the rest of your life, until death does us apart?”

Aoba looked away at the last of his sentence, aware that his voice had turned small at the end and aware that he was at the verge of breaking down before he felt Noiz pulling his hands out of his and pulled him into a very tight hug.

“Noiz?”

“I will,” Noiz mumbled into his hair and Aoba _swore_ he heard his voice broke when he spoke. “Please allow me to do the same, Aoba. Please.”

He was _sure_ Noiz was crying now.

And that was the final straw for him as his own tears broke free off his eyes, rolling down his cheeks as he messily wiped them away. Pushing against Noiz’s chest, he looked up at Noiz just to see Noiz covering his eyes with the back of his hand, visibly trying to hide his tears.

“Hey, what happened to the strong kid who didn't even flinch when he was slashed by a pocket knife and that kid who—“

But Aoba didn't even manage to finish his words before he found Noiz capturing him in an intense kiss. He could feel the dampness on his face when Noiz pressed his face against his. Noiz’s kiss was wet, almost sloppy, but it was filled with so much passion that when Aoba returned his kiss by slipping his tongue into Noiz’s mouth, Noiz captured it almost immediately, sucking on his tip as hard as he could until Aoba showed obvious signs of catching for breath.

“Thank you, Aoba,” Noiz said with a smile while Aoba laughed, cried, and wiped the tears off his face.

“You’re still a brat after all,” Aoba teased.

It might not turn out as how Noiz had planned it. But when Noiz kneeled and ultimately asked Aoba again – “ _This time, please allow me to give you happiness, as how you've given me my life._ ” – Aoba still felt as if the upper hand had been snatched away once again by his husband.

It was probably because it was Noiz that had made him soften his heart. And he was sure that if Noiz was to propose again five years later, ten years later, or even twenty years later, he’d still turn into a crying mess as he chanted a repeated ‘I will’ at him.

And he knew Noiz would be the same. Because that was just how Noiz were – his nineteen-year-old brat that would never grow out of himself.

 


	2. Re:Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn't remember very much about how he once was when he was nineteen, it had been ten years after all.  
> But when he found himself standing in front of a person none other but his very own nineteen-year-old self, he started to notice truth that he was once too young to pick up.
> 
> Spinoff Chapter before final :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has been dragging for quite a bit.   
> This chapter is a challenging chapter. It's very symbolic and literally a read-between-the-lines kind of story. It might exhaust brain juices but I'm still very glad and proud that I've finished it at long last :')
> 
> Once again, I apologize for the long wait but chapter three would basically be 90% smut because well, who isn't looking forward to some honeymoon makeout? 
> 
> Thanks for reading once again, and I'll tackle the last chapter veeeeery soon <3

> ` _“Now I’m interested to see you when you were my age.”_ `
> 
> ` _“You mean when I was nineteen? Don’t bother, you’ll just be reminded of yourself.”_ `

 

In all conscience, he never knew how he really was when he was nineteen. So when Aoba told him that he would be reminded of himself, he wasn’t sure if he understood it properly. His younger years seemed to have passed as if he’d just gone through a time lapse. Before he knew it, he was suiting himself up, bringing enough audacity with him to return to a place where he once deemed worse than Hell.

From time to time he thought of moving on and finally lived a life he sought after but in due course, he figured that it wasn’t exactly the best decision after all.

Because moving on wasn’t simply about forgetting one’s past; but it’s also about fixing blunders and learning from slip-ups.

Every time when he thought about it, all he could remember was his childhood – how he was treated, the wounds he remembered creating for himself, and the many times he had to learn how to triumph over fear which was too colossal for him to bear.

He couldn’t quite recollect what he did when he was… nineteen.

His time only started moving when he met Aoba.

 

Staring apathetically as Usagimodoki did a hundred eighty degree hop on his palm, he caught it, brought it up to have a good look before he tapped the top of it, summoning a hologram screen that presented him the configuration system of his AllMate.

“Do you think you can still handle a Rhyme match?” he asked, although he wasn’t sure if the question was directed at his AllMate or at himself.

It had been ten years since he had his last match after all. He wouldn’t know if he could still play one only until he was in the situation himself.

“P! Everything is in order!”

“Good enough to handle a Rhyme match?” he asked again.

“P! Positive!”

He gave out a small chuckle. He couldn't believe that he was doing this but Aoba’s words did things to him, as usual. Probably he didn’t even need an answer to his whys.

“Pull me a Rhyme match. Opponent…” He wasn't expecting anyone, let alone one who could play Rhyme with him on this secluded island. “Just bring me a random passerby.”

“P! Roger!”

 

The feeling of being pulled into a Rhyme match wasn’t something he had experienced for a very long time. But when the familiar force washed all over him again, it gave him a sense of nostalgia, his five senses instinctively adapting back to the crushing sensation again.

It was the familiar Rhyme field he was once so obsessed with. Nothing seemed to have changed; it shouldn’t, anyway, considering the fact that he didn’t even customize much of his AllMate’s system all these years. He was expecting to enter an instant battle mode, but when he landed himself in a tranquil surrounding, he looked around, searching for his opponent, just to realize that he was left all alone alone, in his own isolated Rhyme field.

“Oi, what happened to passerby?” he called out to the white bunny standing beside him.

“P! Am sure I summoned one. Should I check?”

“It’s fine,” Noiz replied flippantly. It didn’t matter if he didn’t locate himself an opponent anyway. It wasn’t the main reason why he wanted to be here.

He lifted his steps, his surrounding disturbed by nothing but the echo of his own heavy footsteps. This was undeniably his own Rhyme field, but the silence wasn’t something he was familiar with; in fact, it made him wonder if he’d feel this same solitude if he was still nineteen years old.

He was walking past rows and rows of dark alleys when he halted, noticing a barely visible difference in one of the alleys he’d just walked pass.

Was he an opponent?

But before he could investigate further, the shadow stood up, walked out of the alley, and he almost hitched a breath when he saw who the said opponent was.

_It was him._

Although it wasn’t exactly _him_ , to be completely precise – it was his nineteen-year-old self who still had his piercings and was in a utterly different style than the _him_ he was in now.

“Heh,” the other Noiz smirked the moment he’d gotten a good look of who he was facing with. “What kind of Rhyme field is this? A time turner?”

It was unquestionably him. No matter how blasé Noiz was towards himself, at the very least, he could still recognize his own voice, and that signature smirk that Aoba had come to love.

 “You look like me,” he commented languidly.

“That’s because I’m you,” Noiz said, imitating his twin and sticking his hands into his own pockets. “I don’t know how it happens but I guess this is perfect.”

“What do you mean?” Younger Noiz scowled.

“Got some time to spare?”

He knew his twin would comply. He was him after all. And his greatest weakness was his curiosity that not even a ten-year gap could change.

 

The younger Noiz seemed to be on guard at most time. He was having this vigilant and almost asphyxiating air around him that told Noiz that he was indeed once a brat who was distrustful towards almost everything around him. He wondered how he’d managed to conquer that phase, and how he had managed to even survive. As the silence spread between them, Noiz turned to look over his shoulder just to see his younger self staring around the space, impassive but with visible curiosity.

It was intriguing how he managed to recognize every hint of emotion this person was attempting to conceal from him as if he was seeing an x-rayed version of himself. Shaking his head, he gave out a small smile, suddenly finding it hard to suppress the unceasing voice of “This is you after all” in his own head.

“Where’re we going?” the nineteen-year-old Noiz shifted his attention back to Noiz, who had no answer to his question.

“Let’s stop there,” he briefly replied as he pointed to a brighter corner. Despite still being suspicious, the younger man nodded, then taking his own steps towards where Noiz was pointing without another word.

He was unexpectedly obedient, Noiz thought, his lips curved a tad up into a brief grin. It was a surreal feeling seeing himself being so _young_ – a past he’d long forgotten. Somehow, he had come to understand why Aoba was so passionate with teasing him whenever he got the chance. Because he was sure that he himself wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation to tease this man if they were to acquaint in a completely different context.

When they were seated at the corner, the younger Noiz fixed his gaze straight ahead, seemingly intrigued by his own thoughts while Noiz had his attention locked on him the entire time. He’d never spent time looking at his own face when he was nineteen; he wasn’t too fond of mirrors after all. But now that his younger self had taken its own physical form, he found himself perplexed by the mere sight; there was no way he could turn his gaze away from him especially when  _he_ was seated so close to him.

It'd be a huge lie if he was to say that he wasn't intrigued at all. How many odds were there be for someone to meet _themselves_ in such an upfront way after all? And he wasn’t astonished in the slightest when his unrestrained interest was returned by a peeved frown from the other.

“So what exactly do you want to talk about?” the younger Noiz sounded somewhat impatient, his eyes when he stared at Noiz was watchful and filled with thick suspicions. “I’m here for a Rhyme match. I don’t have time for this.”

“Aren’t you interested?” Noiz interrupted with a smirk. “That you’re seeing a ten years older version of yourself.”

Nineteen-year-old Noiz only dithered for a short while before he returned Noiz’s smirk with a replicated version of his own.

“Heh, so you’re _really_ me in ten years’ time, huh?”

Oh, so he had speculated it, huh? As expected.

Noiz now understood why Aoba possessed an intense need to lecture him when he first saw him now. Because he was sure that he’d do the same.

But instead of doing exactly that, he reached out – watched the other Noiz fidget a little – and ruffled him on his hair.

He was so… _young_ it was almost unbelievable for him to believe that he was once this person if he hadn't been seeing so much of himself in this very man right at this very second.

“Get off me.”

He chuckled at the response, only stopped teasing him when his younger self showed signs of leaving.

“I once used to think that nothing matters in the world, that it’s fine even if I die. Because the world abandoned me and I wasn’t needed anyway. I didn’t have a reason to live.”

In contrast to nineteen-year-old Noiz, Noiz’s voice was filled with gentleness as he gazed at a far corner, reminiscing and trying to remember how he once felt when he was nineteen. Perhaps this person beside him was the best person to confirm if he was feeling it right. But if he was to seek the answers from him, it’d be meaningless for him to summon this Rhyme field in the first place then.

“I lived on the basis of equivalent exchange. I thought it was how this world worked.”

“Isn’t it how it works?”

The abrupt interruption piqued Noiz’s interest significantly as he turned around to look at the younger Noiz, instantly feeling a flutter in his heart when he saw him averting his gaze as soon as he realized that he’d blurted the question out of his own conscious.

He was so young, so naïve, and so ingenuous to the world.

“I thought so,” Noiz continued. “I still think that it works that way. But not all the time.”

He purposely put a pause at the end of his words just to witness another pique of curiosity from the other him beside him, the eagerness for an answer too obvious for Noiz to miss.

“I wouldn't have realized that if not because of one person,” Noiz said inaudibly, shifting his gaze and smiling delicately at the now confused teenage Noiz. “I don’t think you’ve met him yet.”

“’Him’?”

“Yeah,” Noiz smiled again. A pause later, he lowered his head, his vision fell towards the floor. “Him.”

Silence stretched between them fleetingly, allowing each other to digest the information bit by bit. This wasn't reality; both of them were well-aware of it. But what both of them were also aware of was how this was the 'reality' they both sought to resolve, conscious or not.

“Can you imagine,” Noiz broke the silence. “A person who goes all the way out for someone who expresses the intention to break his arm if he doesn’t fight him in a Rhyme match?”

“That’s stupid.”

“I thought so too,” Noiz gave out a low chortle. “Perhaps he really is, but it doesn’t deny the fact that he saved me from a world that was too lonely for me to handle.”

“…The world is a lonely place,” younger Noiz said with a barely audible voice. “You won’t understand.”

“I’m you,” Noiz said resolutely. “I understand.”

Another round of silence before the younger Noiz gave out a small smirk, a sign of sarcasm.

“Tell me then, _Noiz_ , how does it feel to be able to _feel_?”

It was surreal how he could feel so much of himself from this person despite already _knowing_ that this person was him and that he was talking to a history that there was no way he could change.

Raising his hand up and clenching it into a fist, Noiz said,

“It’s warm.”

“That’s it?”

Noiz nodded, which resulted in a low hum from his younger self.

“That’s really no point then.”

“What do you expect?” Noiz asked instead. “Warmth is something amazing. It gives you a sense of reality. It tells you that you’re alive.”

The younger Noiz seemed to be surprised by what Noiz had told him because by the time Noiz lifted his head to look at him again, he was staring at him – not the glare that he had been giving him the entire time now, but a gaze that spelt of nothing but… hesitance.

“I wouldn’t know anyway.”

“You would,” Noiz responded almost immediately.

He could see the reservations in his younger self’s expression as the other’s eyebrows knitted together. He probably took this as a dream, and probably it really was, because there was no way he would encounter _himself_ like this.

But regardless of what it was, he was now in this very _reality_ that’d given him a guilty chance to patch up the holes he’d left for himself in the past. He wouldn’t want to let the chance slip, especially not when this younger Noiz was startlingly submissive and less rebellious than he remembered himself to be. Despite being _himself_ , Noiz couldn’t sense much of what was running in this man’s head. He witnessed the hesitance in him, witnessed the hint of curiosity. But at the end of the day, he wanted to witness something else – something that was, slowly but surely, burgeoning in the other’s eyes--

\-- _Hope_.

Even when there were some things that he couldn’t recall, the one thing that he’d never forget was how _lonely_ and how _unwanted_ he felt for his entire life.

_Aoba_ was the one who’d changed this. _Aoba_ was the one who’d told him that there was still hope. _Aoba_ was the one who’d reminded him that he craved connection as much as he yearned for acceptance.

“So,” as if trying to prove him wrong, nineteen-year-old Noiz leaned back and said with a slightly higher tone. “Tell me about him.”

Noiz didn’t even need him to tell him exactly who he meant as an involuntary smile braced his features.

“He’s weird.”

“Figures.”

He could almost hear him _smile_.

“Even you. You’re a bit… different,” the younger Noiz continued, eyeing Noiz from the corner of his eyes.

Noiz merely smiled.

“I grew up. _You_ grew up.”

He heard a snort but he knew his answer did nothing but evoke a new set of questions in the other's head. Deciding that he should keep the flow going, he continued,

“When I first met him, all I ever wanted was a rematch. I didn’t want to lose. Rhyme was everything I had.” The other man stayed quiet, his smirk long gone from his face. He was staring into nothing, but Noiz knew that his ears were on every single word he said. He probably wouldn’t believe what Noiz was telling him, but he was willing to listen.

That would do.

“But he beat me. It was such an easy task for him. I wasn’t satisfied. I felt as if my only support was taken away from me. So I hunted him down, I checked on him, I followed him everywhere I go.”

“You sound like a stalker.”

“Aren’t you an information broker?”

The other man kept quiet again. He knew this feeling all too well. The urge to stand above the others – the passion to _prove_ to others that he was able to survive all by himself, even though he knew that it had been a beautiful deception he'd told himself ever since he threw his name away.

“But he was nothing like how I thought he should be,” Noiz continued, acting as if the momentary interruption had never occurred. “He was… normal.”

A small chuckle. Then one that was followed by his own. Even when he was to think about his and Aoba’s acquaintance from ten years back, it still tickled his insides realizing how ridiculous it was. Him, running after a man who had beaten him up in a brain game like an immature child. It was then that he realized that he was, in fact, an _immature child_ , just like how Aoba always liked to put it.

He never understood where Aoba had gotten the idea from until now - when he saw the very person Aoba saw ten years back right in front of his very eyes.

“But… perhaps that’s precisely why he’s so special.”

His words ended with more questions. It was open-ended, too unreal for the younger _him_ to decipher. He could see it in his face, amused when he finally noticed a different expression.

“I don’t understand,” nineteen-year-old Noiz breathed. “You’re weird.”

Now, isn’t this familiar? With every passing second, he found himself empathizing more with this Noiz. He wanted to bring him over, give him a pat on his shoulder, a pat on his head, and wrap his arm around him – just so he could tell him that there wasn’t a need for him to grow up so fast.

He was _nineteen_. And _nineteen_ was an age when many were lost in their own path of self-discovery.

He could physically feel his limb tingled with the very urge to embrace him. As he lifted his gaze and wandered his focus back onto his younger self, he felt a sudden, overwhelming crash of emotions beneath his chest that ultimately had him springing forward and pulled _himself_ close, ruffling _his_ hair and, before he knew, he was laughing – a gesture that never failed to put Aoba in awe.

“H-hey, stop it!” The other Noiz struggled. He was just slightly smaller than Noiz; his physical shape exactly like how Noiz anticipated it to be. And when Noiz caught sight of his bandaged hand, he stopped, thin frown appeared in between his eyebrows before he reached out to grasp on that very hand instead.

“H-he—“

“You’ll get pass this,” Noiz murmured, scrutinizing the broken finger on the other’s hand before he brought his _own_ broken finger up for _Noiz_ to see. It was then that his expression softened, his eyes brightened, as if he'd finally acknowledged the truth that this very person was he himself. “One day, you’ll wake up and tell yourself that this is not a shameful existence. This,” he paused, lifting the hand higher and brushed his lips against the imperfect part. “is a proud scar, a proof that you're determined to stay alive.”

He could hear a hitch of breath, and he didn’t need to even look at his younger self to know how shocked his expression was at this very moment. It was a gesture he knew _both_ of them would do – completely shameless, and upfront; one description that he was so used to hear from Aoba. He wasn’t even sure if this Noiz was more surprised at his out-of-the-blue gesture or if he was more perplexed by his words. Or perhaps both. Regardless, he pulled up a beam, casting his vision penetratingly at _Noiz_  and caressed the broken finger for one last time before he released the startled man.

He wasn’t sure if this man would even believe him, or if he would even remember everything that had happened in this place when he was to wake up earlier. Perhaps this moment only existed in this dimension; perhaps this very memory would vanish the moment they returned to reality. But deep inside, Noiz knew that it was bound to change things. He could sense it from the wavers in his younger self, who seemed to be stuck in a state of shock.

If he was to forget what Noiz said or even did to him, at the very least, he wanted _this_ Noiz to remember the emotions he felt within him now, to not lose hope and to _live_ until he met Aoba.

Aoba would change him, like it or not. He would change him back into the man he deserved to be. He knew history wouldn’t change, and he knew that he’d survive. But unconsciously, he wanted his younger self to live a bit better state of mind rather than the constant guilt and lonesome he was forcefully pushed into.

There was no way he could change the past; but at the very least, he wanted to soothe this agony as much as he could.

“Hey.”

The voice pulled him back from his own thoughts. When he turned around to look at _Noiz_ , the other was smiling, not the smirk that Noiz had identified as his signature persona, but one that he was sure that it was the same as the one he was wearing now.

“Thank you.”

Perhaps, Noiz thought as his eyes brightened, the scene around him gradually fading, signaling the time limit they’d hit to exist in a Rhyme field. Perhaps this Noiz was startled by something else – not Noiz’s abrupt affection, not Noiz’s seemingly unreal words; but _acceptance_.

Reflexively, he let out a smile, the mirrored one from the other told him that he’d seen it loud and clear. He’d always held qualms to why he was able to survive all by himself when he had literally nothing and no one to lose. He wondered why he had chosen a road of solitude when he could have just conformed into a world that didn’t belong him.

He wondered how he managed to survive.

And now, perhaps, after decades of wondering, this was the answer he was looking for –

\-- because before he met Aoba, he’d met someone else that had believed him the same way Aoba did: that person being _himself_.

 

“…iz?”

A voice. His head was spinning, he couldn’t move an inch.

“Noiz?”

The voice became clearer with every passing second. Struggling, he opened his eyes, the bright sunlight shining into the room made him hold his hand up to cover his eyes the moment the light penetrated his line of vision.

“Wow, I almost called the hospital.”

Now that he was back to full conscious, he peeked from the corner of his eyes, just to see Aoba’s cheeky grin right by his side.

“Good morning.”

There was a rush of unexplainable emotions within him that he once thought he’d never possess. The feeling was nostalgic, and undeniably, _warm_.

As the thought ran through his head, he snapped his eyes open, lifting his hand up to stare at it.

“Noiz? What’s wrong?”

There was _something_ that he was about to recall. But before the picture could come into clear view, the memory was aggressively taken away from him, slipping out of his brain like air and leaving him in a state of confusion.

What did he forget? Was it a dream? Or was it something else?

“Heeeeeeeelllo?”

He turned at Aoba’s calling. The initial brightness replaced by a worried profile, Aoba leaned closer, the tip of his nose almost touching Noiz’s face before he asked,

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

Realizing that he still had his hand stuck in midair, Noiz looked away, then lifting the corners of his lips just a tad before he finally spoke,

“Sorry, I’m fine. A nightmare, I guess.”

“Nightmare?” Aoba didn’t seem like he was convinced either. Pulling his gaze off Noiz, he caught sight of his hand, then his eyes widened, as if he’d just realized something.

“Ah.”

The ‘what’s wrong?’ was only halfway out of Noiz’s mouth before he found his hand being picked up by Aoba, who pressed the back of that very hand against his cheek,

“Don’t worry, you’re in safe hands now,” Aoba said, his words as gentle as his smile. A pause later, he gestured his hand towards his lips, brushing it against the back of Noiz’s hand before he halted at Noiz’s broken finger, where he leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss against it.

“Remember what I always told you?” Aoba said with a mischievous stare, catching Noiz completely off-guard. “This is not a shameful existence. It’s a proud scar.”

He’d heard these words from Aoba for the umpteenth time. Aoba must have thought that he had a nightmare concerning his broken past, hence the sudden affection. But for some reason, as the very sentence reiterated unceasingly in his own head, he felt as if he’d heard this somewhere else, way before Aoba had told him this. It was what made him move forward; it was what that had given him _hope_.

“Hello? You’re spacing out again,” Aoba pouted.

“Sorry,” he apologized quietly. Something wasn’t quite right with him again. It must be the dream.

Pulling his hand off Aoba’s grasp, he turned to his side instead, snaking his arm around Aoba’s torso and pulling him over, pressing their chests together.

“I think I’d need a _really_ good distraction to help me recover from a bad dream. What say you?”

Aoba let out a loud sigh.

“Why am I not surprised.” He was frowning, but Noiz knew him enough to know that he wasn’t exactly angry. It was just his usual reaction whenever Noiz was to suggest something naughty.

And as expected, Aoba had thrown a smile at his direction in the next second, flicking a finger on his forehead as he said,

“Do whatever you want.”

He couldn’t quite remember how he once was; thinking about how he once lived as a nineteen-year-old still gave him a weird sense of surrealism. He couldn’t even imagine how he once lived as 'Noiz'; the past image of himself wasn't one that he could see himself in now.

For all he knew, _Aoba_ was the one that had given his life a swift turn.

But somehow, deep inside, he knew that someone else had made this possible – someone else had given him a reason to live; someone else had gave him the push he needed to endure it a bit more before he gotten the chance to meet Aoba.

And that very person being none other but himself; because without the strong belief and determination he held deep within himself, he wouldn’t have the chance to survive, let alone meet Aoba.

Perhaps that was what Aoba saw in him too. And perhaps, that was what he himself saw in him too – and he’d continue living with this, until one day, when he was to see his future self again, he’d be prepared to smile and tell _him_ that he was grateful that he’d chosen the path he’d settled on without regrets.

 

_` Thank you, past, present, and, if we ever meet -- future me.` _

 


	3. Same As You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The biggest challenge in Noiz’s life was perhaps to understand absolutely everything of Aoba, especially when it concerned a past that both he and Aoba had no idea of. But eventually, Noiz realized that that wasn’t his biggest challenge, but to prove a certain someone wrong was.
> 
> An alternate perspective from the Chapter 2, in which Noiz met Slyblue instead of his own self.

> _“Now I’m interested to see you when you were my age.”_
> 
> _“You mean when I was nineteen? Don’t bother, you’ll just be reminded of yourself.”_
> 
>  

_Slyblue_ – it was a name he was always very much fond of; it was a name who’d led him to Aoba, his current husband. And it wasn’t a name he could easily forget either. He’d met Aoba when he was Seragaki Aoba, but he’d never met Aoba when he was ‘Slyblue’ and no matter how much he was to negate the urge to know, there was no way he could lie to himself.

Aoba was everything he’d come to know – he knew about Aoba’s personality, the tiniest habits he did – unconsciously or not – and even his thought process; those were all normal things that Noiz had come to acknowledge of ‘Aoba’.

But the biggest challenge remained in _how_ he was going to understand more of _the other Aoba_ , one that was, unquestionably, Aoba as well.

There was only one way to find out but it wasn’t an easy way, especially not when that Aoba he’d first intended to meet was no longer present between them.

When Aoba told him about _him_ , Noiz knew that Aoba wasn’t sure if he existed himself, or if he still existed. He knew he was the cause for Aoba’s headache, and he _did_ promised Aoba that he’d figure a way out if he still had problems with it again.

And by that, he meant dealing with the cause of the headache itself – the _other_ Aoba.

There was no conviction whatsoever that told him that _he_ had disappeared and he wouldn’t want to believe it, either. No one could have their presence wiped out just like that, definitely not without a good closure. And knowing how reckless _this person_ once was, Noiz never wanted to take a chance knowing that there was _still_ a possibility that he was still very much alive, lurking somewhere in Aoba’s head and waiting for the right moment to reveal himself.

He never liked working in hesitation, the unconfirmed exasperated him.

So, if he was to obtain a chance to explore more, he’d grasp onto it without a second thought. He didn’t know to what extent the other man knew about him, but he was sure that he _knew_ about him. If there was a way to bait him out, he would.

The night was spent in quiet tranquillity after a contrastingly ardent, intense lovemaking session. Aoba had quickly fallen asleep the moment he was all cleaned up, laying by Noiz’s side, his breathing relaxed and peaceful. It wasn’t the first time Noiz had been staring at Aoba as he slept, his features ever so unique, his wavy blue hair creating a refined sensation on his skin. Aoba was beautiful, a word Noiz had never thought he’d be using on someone else. But he was more than just being physically beautiful; despite his hard-hitting nature, he was also, without a doubt, the most beautiful man in nature that Noiz had ever had the fortune to meet.

Aoba shifted ever so slightly, unconsciously pressing his face against Noiz’s chest as his body tilted sideway, his arm reaching out to cuddle on Noiz’s waist. He’d thought about it before but now that they were in such a close distance again he couldn’t help but wonder if he was the luckiest man on Earth to have the luck to encounter a partner so spectacularly attractive like Aoba. Being accepted was an understatement, he was sure of it. And he wanted so much to _accept_ Aoba as well – everything of him.

As he trailed a fingertip against the man’s hair, tracing his outline and ultimately had his hand resting on Aoba’s waist, he let out an instinctive sigh. The thought of losing Aoba was something he’d never considered. If any, he never want to think about it. But there were things that he had yet to know about Aoba, things that Aoba had yet to know about himself. His mind would never rest in peace if this situation dawdled any further.

Acting completely out of instinct, he leaned forward, kissing Aoba’s soft cheek and pressing their distance so close he ended up holding Aoba’s head in his hand.

“If you’re listening,” he whispered. “I’d love to meet you. Aoba hasn’t introduced you to me yet.”

He was sure that he sounded ridiculous. Even Aoba had no idea if _he_ still existed. Perhaps he was already long gone; but Noiz believed otherwise. He felt as if he knew the other person, if he had any reference to his past. And he knew that this person, like his past self, was a grander stalker, way more persistent than Noiz ever was. Aoba inherited that trait, at the very least. It made Noiz chuckle at the mere thought of how tireless this very person once was when it came to his welfare.

But all Aoba did was budged again, his arms hugging Noiz stronger, still fast asleep.

Probably he shouldn’t let his thoughts disrupt him so much, Noiz thought, as he gradually allowed himself to be drifted to sleep.

Probably he was thinking way too much.

Probably there wasn’t a Slyblue in the first place.

He let the thought spell through his mind like a mantra, hoping that he would come to believe it when he woke up the next time. But when he opened his eyes and made sense of the person in front of him, all his ‘probably’ were thrown right out of the window.

That very person, who was standing just a few feet away from where him, was no other than _Slyblue_.

“Heard you wanted to talk to me,” he said, in a voice so unusually deep than the one Noiz had come to memorize of Aoba.

“…yeah,” he said.

What was happening? Was this a dream?

But there was nothing about this person that indicated that he was in a dream. The man before him was very much _real_ ; his features the exact same as Aoba’s, except perhaps the radiance _gold_ of his eyes and the faint curve of smirk by the corner of his lips when he shot Noiz a fleeting stare, or rather, glare.

But he said nothing after that. Leaving Noiz alone to stare, he turned his back towards him, walking towards what seemed like a dark alley.

What was all this about, really? He felt as if he’d just gone back in time. An ephemeral look around told him enough that they were in Midorijima, the alley they were walking in was one that he was used to hang out in. If this was a dream, it sure knew how to bring back the shadiest part of his conscious.

As he followed ‘Aoba’, without knowing what else to say, he continued looking around, his mind clouded with a mix of curiosity and nostalgia. This place was his escapade years back; he’d almost forgotten how it felt like to be here again. But now, he was forced back in time, not only contextual-wise, but also here to face a person who was also… a past of his own.

They came to a stop when they reached a wider space where Noiz recognized as the famous spot for Rhyme occurrences. He was about to say something but _Aoba_ had leapt forward, right into the crowd before he could even open his mouth. The lights were too blinding, the cheers too loud, and it took one whole minute before Noiz _finally_ realized why the crowd were shouting their lungs out.

“Slyblue is playing!”

“Wow, Slyblue!”

Now he knew what that smirk _Slyblue_ threw at him before he ran into the scene implied. Was he challenging him for a game? He only had seconds to consider. But if that was his intention…

…why not?

While Slyblue stood on one end of the ring, Noiz squeezed his way through the crowd, stepping on the opposite end from Slyblue just when the bell signalling the end of recruiting rang.

No one wanted to fight him; or rather, no one _dared_ to fight him.

Instantly, he heard whisperings around them – “ _Who’s this guy?” “No idea, never see him before.”_ – the thrill from before seemed to have subsided.

As he waited for the next thing to happen, all Slyblue did was smirk at him, his hands in his jacket’s pockets as he tilted his head without a word, waiting for Noiz to break the first sound. The crowd went completely quiet as Noiz realized this as an intentional Drive-By with every passing second. There was no Usui, only him and Slyblue, whoever was to conjure a Rhyme field first.

He opened his mouth, his breathing hefty, his heart beating stridently in his ears. Something was about to happen, he could feel it in his nerves, every one of his hunches seemed to be blaring at him, _warning_ him of _something_ that he had yet to know.

“ _This time_ ,” Slyblue had whispered then, his voice incredibly _small_ , but it broke through the silence like a needle pricking on a balloon. “ _This time, it is such an honor. So_ ,” he lifted his head, his smirk deeper than before as he shot Noiz a piercing glare with a look of profound tease and ecstasy. “ _let’s play a game, shall we?_ ”

Then, he was swarmed by a familiar rush of sensation that he knew was the crush of Rhyme waves. He was pulled into the tension, his conscious falling out from reality and forced into a different dimension. It was too familiar; way too familiar. Whatever Slyblue had said to him gave him a punch in the chest so severe that even when they settled safely in a streak of blue scene, he was still in utter reverence, feeling as if he’d just experienced the biggest dejavu in his life.

“Ah-ah, I wish no one is observing this match, though.”

Slyblue’s voice rang from the other end; their surrounding reminded him of a sea, the colour complemented seamlessly with Aoba’s wavy hair color, one that he felt on the tips of his fingers just almost an hour ago.

Realizing that he had his body slanting in an awkward position for a while now, Noiz straightened himself up, glancing around the space. This was the first time he was in Aoba’s Rhyme field. Was this the real thing? Or was it something that his brain had made up for him just for the sake of this dream simply because it reminded him of Aoba’s hair?

“Helloooo?”

Slyblue called out from the other side.

“I’m still here, ya know?” He bent his knees, squatting down and tapping his finger playfully on the floor. “Do you notice what’s wrong with this place?”

He didn’t, and it was an irony of his own, knowing that he was once a champion in this league.

“AllMates,” Slyblue said, recognizing his qualms. “We don’t have any.”

He was right; no Ren, no Usagimodoki.

“I don’t think we can fight anyway, sorry for bursting your bubble, kiddo. I know how much you want to fight me.”

“Then why do you lure me here?” Noiz responded, finally finding his voice.

“You took the bait,” Slyblue lifted the corner of his lips higher. “I wanted privacy.”

“Even when people are watching?”

“I lied,” Slyblue stood up. “ _No one_ is watching.”

What happened to the spectators, then? Did they disappear? How _exactly_ did this dream thing function anyway?

“I heard you have some business with me,” Slyblue said, sticking his hands back into his jacket’s pockets again as he strode towards Noiz, stopping only when they were an inch apart.

He remembered this pair of eyes – glimmering _gold_ , sharp, and dangerous. He’d only seen it once but he’d never forget about it. It was the same pair of eyes that had made him feel _fear_ for the first time in his life.

“So?”

He closed his eyes, too engrossed at how penetrating Slyblue’s gaze was. He’d been staring too long anyway, he was sure that Slyblue would’ve noticed how he was practically allured into his gaze, hypnotized.

“It’s about Aoba, isn’t it?” Slyblue continued, impatience in his voice.

“No,” Noiz said, shifting his eyes back to meet the other’s gaze. “It’s about you.”

“Me?” Slyblue let out a loud snicker. “What about me?”

“You’re Aoba, aren’t you?”

“Huh? Really?”

It was a challenge to understand _this_ persona, Noiz had come to realize. He seemed like a total opposite of the Aoba he knew, but he knew he wasn’t, and he _needed_ to discover the underlying personality that _this_ Aoba had come to hide so well.

“I want to know more about you.”

“Because of Aoba?”

“Because _you_ are Aoba.”

Slyblue was stunned, staring at Noiz for only a few short-lived seconds before he broke into a brash laugh, clutching his stomach, his voice resounded echoingly around the vacant space.

“Hahahahaha! What are you talking about? Listen, brat,” he said, containing his laugh with a rascally grin before he grasped a whole of Noiz’s collar, pulling him close. “I am the one whom Aoba _desperately_ wanted to suppress. I am the one whom Aoba wanted to leave out, whom Aoba _doesn’t need_.”

“You’re wrong,” Noiz mumbled, a thin frown drawing a line in between his eyebrows.

“I’m not. Ask him. Would he be comfortable if I am to take control again? Would he want to share the same body with me? Would he…” he paused, his smirk became even more petrifying with every word he blurted out. “…want to have _you_ fucking another person besides him?”

That last statement seemed to have triggered something out of Noiz and before he knew it, he clicked his tongue, gripping Slyblue hard on the back of his neck before he pulled him over, pressing a deep, aggressive kiss on his lips.

Slyblue’s clutch on Noiz’s collar softened. Instead, he raised both of his hands, cupping Noiz face and completely succumbed to the heated kiss Noiz was forcing on him. Their tongues intertwined, saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth to his chin as they sucked on each other’s tongue, running raw numbness down each other’s spine before Slyblue separated the kiss with a hard bite on Noiz’s bottom lip.

“Ouch,” Noiz breathed, licking the wound Slyblue gave him with a mirrored smirk. “that hurts, you know?”

“I know, that’s why I’m doing it,” Slyblue said, his grin no less intimidating than the other.

“But I’m positive now,” Noiz said after a quick suck on the blood on his lips.

“What?”

“That you’re Aoba.”

“Huh? What?”

“My tongue is the most sensitive part of my body,” Noiz said, darting his tongue out just transitorily to elaborate his point. “I know what I like to taste.”

“Tch,” Slyblue clicked his tongue, albeit still remained a playful mien. “It’s the same body after all.”

“You taste the same as how I remember you to be,” Noiz said, taking a step towards Slyblue and gripping him on the waist to stop him from running away. “You taste like Aoba.”

Slyblue intended to say something before his words were forced back down his throat when Noiz gave him a teasing lick on the neck, one hand clutching on his chin to tilt his head upwards.

“Oi, stop, I’m not here to—“

“If you’re so sure that you _aren’t_ Aoba, why not let me verify it? That’s your intention, isn’t it?”

“Not like—ahh!”

He almost bit his tongue when Noiz slipped one hand under his shirt and pinched his still-soft nipple between his fingers.

“You can make such a voice even with that attitude,” Noiz’s eyes narrowed. “Cute.”

“Stop it, what are you… ugh…” He seemed to have given up all the remaining retorts he was to throw at Noiz when Noiz rolled his shirt up and replaced his fingers with his tongue, rolling the tip deftly around the hardened bud with hands holding the other’s torso to lock him in place.

He thought it’d be a challenge to understand Slyblue – a person who was Aoba’s Desire, and a person who was Aoba’s past. But at the end of the day, they were just the same: Aoba remained as Aoba, no matter what name, what personality, what appearance he bear. His body had proven it, his reaction had told Noiz the truth.

Perhaps the biggest challenge he had now – was to convince _this_ Aoba that _he_ was Aoba too.

“Aoba,” he mumbled against Slyblue’s chest, feeling an instant hitch of breath.

“I’m not—don’t take me as your sexual imagination, you little—“

“I want you,” Noiz said, an expression so blunt that had Slyblue staggered a breath. Noiz was looking at him, right in the eyes, completely unobscured, completely genuine. “Slyblue or not, you’re Aoba. Past or not, they are the past, I’ll accept it. No matter if you want to believe it or not, you’re the reason why I came to Midorijima, and the reason why I was able to meet you and I’ll accept you, love you no matter you like it or not.”

Slyblue seemed like he was about to cry but Noiz captured the perfect moment to slip a hand downwards, unbuckling his belt and started tracing chary circles around the outline of his hardened erection.

“Hard from just a kiss? That’s you, alright?”

“Ugh, shut up.”

“You sure there’s no spectators? Whatever I’m going to do next—“

But Slyblue had clasped Noiz’s head around his arms and forced a kiss on his lips, his actions exasperated, his intention clear as day. Elating a smirk against his lips, Noiz obeyed his want, directly pumping his dick, smearing the precum that’d started to ooze out of the tip along the length, just to smoothen the action.

He didn’t even mind if there _were_ spectators. _Let them see_ , was what he always loved to tell Aoba. And for some reason, he felt that this very person he was vehemently making out with would tell him the same too.

“Hurry up,” Slyblue hushed, his face a flushed red, his breathing a mess as his lifted a knee to stroke Noiz’s concealed dick, tongue darting in and out of his mouth to wet his dried lips.

“What a way to seduce me,” Noiz grinned between pants. Soon, he was off his pants, two fingers slipping to Slyblue’s back as he pressed indolently against the hole, his eyebrows knitted when he realized how… _prepared_ he was.

“What?” He could faintly hear Slyblue’s sardonic voice. The realization triggered a hint of fire within him.

“Are you surprised? You don’t even need to prepare me, you know? You can just come in, it’ll be alright.”

It’s _not_ alright. All his motions stopped, he pulled a slight distance between them, just so he could take in the whole of Slyblue’s profile properly.

“You shouldn’t be surprised,” Slyblue continued, already rubbing his cock against Noiz’s navel piercings, smearing Noiz’s abdomen with his precum. “There are only two things people want from me – one, to use me as a tool for money; and two—“ he stopped, just to pull Noiz’s cock completely out, then lifted his weight on him, pushing Noiz to held him by the ass cheeks as he encircled his waist with his legs. “—my body.”

 

> _“Now I’m interested to see you when you were my age.”_
> 
> _“You mean when I was nineteen? Don’t bother, you’ll just be reminded of yourself.”_
> 
>  

He thought understanding Slyblue was a challenge – but it was never. The same voice resonated in his head – the voice that was Aoba’s. He was right; he _was_ seeing a version of his younger self – the reckless brat who knew nothing about cherishing his own body until he met Aoba.

Understanding Slyblue was no challenge – proving him _wrong_ was.

But now wasn’t the time for that, for he had more urgent needs he needed to confront.

The thought of _someone else_ toying with Aoba’s body ignited a spark of flame in his veins. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the vision, wasn’t sure if he could handle how Aoba would openly seduce another person to fuck him just like how he was doing with Noiz now. But Aoba was _his_ , he couldn’t allow someone else to take what was _his_ , even when this was a time when he had yet to know about Aoba.

Driven by raw instinct, he positioned his dick against Slyblue’s hole, giving him a menacing thrust that hit him right at his prostate and continued, again and again, pulling in and out, in and out, with a pace so alarmingly fast that Slyblue’s choked moans were all he heard by his ear.

The sex was so fast that Noiz could barely register what happened. When he came, all he felt was scorching gush of semen on his abdomen that he knew wasn’t his own. And when he drowned in his afterglow, body slumped like a boneless flesh on the Rhyme field floor, he felt a hand on his head, then a kiss on the forehead.

“You win, brat.”

There was nothing he could hear after that, his vision faded into dark. But there were voices – cheers, a lot of people were clapping – and he heard his own head vibrating with the voice of a faraway memory:

“ _Take care of him._ ”

He expected himself to be in an alley when he woke up the next time. But instead, he was in a bed he was more than familiar with, by the side of a figure he’d come to acknowledge as his world.

He was in a position where he remembered himself to be before he fell asleep – Aoba in his arms, clinging onto him, his hand laid at a distance not far from the tips of Aoba’s hair. All the occurrences of his ‘dream’ sluggishly returning to him; he felt as if he’d experienced a weird sort of time travel to the past and back again. Probably this was why he felt so fatigued. He was about to sleep again when Aoba moved in his sleep, cuddling closer to him.

He could really stare at Aoba’s sleeping face for the entire time.

Slowly yet sensibly, he used a free hand – the one Aoba wasn’t sleeping on – to lift a few strands of Aoba’s hair up, bringing the tips to his lips and pressed them in between them, instantly feeling the silky sensation on his lips. This shouldn’t wake Aoba up; Aoba’s sensations on his hair were dimmed ever since the Platinum Jail incident. But then…

Aoba shivered, hitching a breath when Noiz pressed a bit harder on his hair, eventually waking him up. Did he pull too hard?

He was about to apologize but Aoba was already opening his eyes, staring up at him, confused and visibly dazed.

“Noiz…” he mumbled.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

Aoba remained silent. Turning his head around, he caught sight of Noiz’s hand, one finger twirling around strands of his hair.

“Can you… do that again?” Aoba asked, voice small.

“Do what?”

“What you did with my hair.”

“Hmm? This?” Noiz asked, pulling slightly harder on the tips just to evoke a garish gasp from Aoba.

“Sorry, was it too hard?”

“No, it’s not that.” Aoba looked away, his eyes widened, as if he’d just realized something.

“Aoba, what is it?”

“I…” Aoba started, but immediately closing his mouth again. It was obvious that he was finding difficulties to say whatever he wanted to say. As an attempt to help him, Noiz leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead.

That seemed to do the trick.

“I feel it again.”

“What is it?”

“The… pain.”

“Pain?” Now this was starting to worry Noiz.

“The one on my hair.”

Which was the one that Noiz deemed to have disappeared ever since the Tower collapsed. If Aoba was regaining the sensations on his hair – that could only mean one thing.

And if the gradual change of colour Noiz had witnessed on Aoba’s eyes the next time they fixed gaze wasn’t playing any tricks on him, he was sure that they would be facing yet another challenge soon – this time, a challenge that concerned more than the two of them.

 


	4. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many 'I will' does he need to recite until he becomes truly his?  
> And how many 'I will' he needs to hear from him that he could be totally convinced that they would be together -- forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I took so long to finish this but it's finally done :')  
> This piece has a very special place in my heart and the finale of it is definitely one of the finales that I've always wanted to write. 
> 
> I'm really glad that it has come to an end but I'm also very upset that this has come to an end.
> 
> Thank you for following me through this story and thank you for reading, as usual! You could really see how I progressed throughout the years of writing this story (since 2014, holy shit, haha!) but the thoughts and mood I have for this story is always the same. I hope I managed to bring that out through the slightly different writing styles heh.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are highly appreciated as usual :D

The sea lulled as it invigorated on the afternoon glow. It’d been a long time since they were exposed to sun so salient like how they did in the past few days. It was as if they were put in an oven, the scorching sun roasted them, spattering their skins with thick layer of sultriness and creating palpable tanned tones on their once-fair texture. Balmy, zesty odour belched from the sea, dousing them in the afterglow of a gratifying yet simple honeymoon, reminding them of all the potential lost moments they might have experienced while they were both caught up with real life matters.

Silver line stitched the horizon, seagulls squawking above their heads as their bodies slanted against the railing on the deck, heads leaned against each other and allowing sea wind to brush gently through their hair.

“I guess it’s good to spend time like this once a while,” Aoba murmured, a warm smile graced his features as he stared into a distance. “It’s like escaping from the world.”

“Both of us need this,” Noiz agreed. Encircling an arm around Aoba’s shoulder, he curved an ethereal smile.

“Well, I’ve definitely gotten more than I expected,” Aoba badgered with a smirk. The ring glimmered weakly on his finger, reflecting the faint light of sinking sun. Noiz had, once again, surprised him with something so phenomenal he wondered how long more did he need to experience all of these until he would finally get used to it. Perhaps he’d find himself old and wrinkly and Noiz would still bend down on one knee and propose to him all over again as if it was the first time he’d asked Aoba to marry him.

The brat was too much for him. And he was certain that he’d keep experiencing this devastating sensation in more than just an emotional sense.

Intertwining their fingers together, he closed his eyes, listening to the calm, remedying sound of sea waves before he released a quiet sigh.

“I’d love to experience this with you forever,” he said, feeling Noiz’s hand shivered just ever so slightly as a response.

“That’s my intention,” Noiz said, with a voice similarly tranquilizing as the sea wave.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to propose to me again,” Aoba chuckled, opening his eyes and looking up at Noiz, just to see that Noiz was already staring at him.

“Hmmm,” Noiz hummed depravedly, leaning over to kiss Aoba on the forehead. “Who knows?”

“It’s enough, really,” Aoba pushed him away, enough to send a pout at his direction. “I get your message loud and clear, I’ll spend the rest of my life with you. You don’t need to be so… so insecure.”

Noiz looked taken aback for just a few moments before he cracked into a smirk, pulling Aoba over by the waist and enveloping him into a tight-fit hug. Aoba hadn’t been changing a lot over the decade they’d spent their life by each other’s side. Noiz, however, had grown just a tad taller than when Aoba had first known him, often resulting in Aoba frowning at him whenever he was reminded of that very fact. Noiz didn’t mind the slightest; in fact, he was the one who’d pointed it out, wounding Aoba’s pride glaringly before he found a pillow crashing into his face.

“I never feel that it’s ever enough to tell you know much I need you in my life.” Noiz was definitely as shameless as ever, but he’d portrayed that very trademark of his in a way more exasperating than ever. He’d become more outspoken, especially when it came to anything about Aoba. Even though Aoba appreciated it greatly, he’d often find himself gaping while he searched for a way to respond, while Noiz would always take this advantage to step ahead of him.

Like now.

The hand on his waist traced a slow path along his spine, tickling him in the process as Aoba snickered. Then, that very hand sneaked to the back of his neck, pressing against it and pulling Aoba closer, until he felt Noiz’s warm lips against his own that had Aoba’s giggles turn into soft moans, pushing him to slowly indulge himself in the tender sensation Noiz was engulfing him in.

“Do you want to do it here or do you want to go inside?” Noiz separated their kiss just to ask.

“H-here? No way.”

They were in the middle of the ocean; it wasn’t possible for anyone to catch what they were doing now, let alone getting into their way. But yet again, having such an intimate intercourse in an opened space still sent chills all over Aoba as he shook his head, grasping onto Noiz’s wrist and dragging him into the cabin.

The sun had properly sunk by now. Warmth radiated from the sea breeze as deep orange-red blanketed their view. The moment they stepped into the cabin, Aoba was immediately pressed against the door, buttons on his thin piece of white shirt being pushed open as he was engrossed in an open-mouthed kiss. He felt a palm on his chest, searing his tanned skin and he was mounting, climbing to the peak of desire the more he drown in this addicting moment of euphoria.

At this moment, no one would disturb them, no one was allowed in this very affectionate territory of theirs; the world seemed to have come to a standstill and all they was left with was each other in their arms – nothing to worry about, nothing to be afraid of; nothing, as long as they could still feel each other so fervidly on their own skin.

The bed in their cabin wasn’t as huge as the one in their own home, not even as the one in the villa they’d left behind just hours ago. It fit both of their bodies just nice and there was a small window just right beside it so that moonlight could pour into the room and illuminate evocative outlines of their bodies that no one could make out of unless they were to see each other up close. Aoba didn’t need luminous lights for him to make out Noiz’s body – he already had every inch of it memorized: he knew where the strands of his hair would stand, how the outline of muscles looked like, how he was staring at him with ardent gaze and how a gaunt smirk drew across his face, appreciating and revering the entire of Aoba’s existence. He’d seen this man for decades now and it was this very expression he would wear on his face when he looked at Aoba that had never changed – always seeing Aoba as the only one, always eager to see how Aoba would react to his every action, physical or not, and always restless to sweep Aoba off his feet, despite Aoba telling him over and over again that all he needed to do was to genuinely feel how Aoba felt to him and that would be more than enough for him.

This man was too much for him, he thought as he slung his arms around Noiz's neck, pulling him close and pressing soft lips against the other man’s. He lied on his back, with Noiz hovering over him and he was so enchanted by how Noiz was holding his breath when he kissed him as if he was taken by complete revelation.

He loved this man, he told himself again. He wanted to walk towards the end of his life with this man because he couldn’t see himself doing it with anyone else. He’d seen how this very man grew throughout the past years, witnessed how he picked himself up and fixed things with his very own pair of hands. He loved how wanton he could be yet how he would look away and take a step back when Aoba was to get angry at him. He loved how he would choose to appear strong despite having the stifled innuendo of uncertainty blooming within him that he was sure was the result of how much he had come to love Aoba.

He loved _everything_ of this man and he wanted to keep watching after him, just so he could make sure that this man would continue growing and become better and better for the rest of his remaining life.

He couldn’t help but kiss him again. His skin charred from the tan he’d gotten from long hours of exposure under the sun but that was the least of his concern at this very moment. It wasn’t always about him, a trait that Noiz had told him off countless of times; it was about Noiz too and he was certain that he’d do anything to ensure that Noiz remained seated on his priority seating as long as he lived.

Noiz simply allowed him to do whatever he wanted, with no intention to stop him and simply indulging in every taste of Aoba, every hint of his existence as the kiss turned from fluffy pecks to a tongue-against-tongue one and all he could think in his mind was unceasing recitation of how much he _yearned_ for this man, physically and mentally, even without he himself knowing.

“Noiz…” he said at long last. Sound of sea waves waned by their ears, peaceful and pacifying. “I love you.”

He was punched by emotions from all sides; every ounce of his nerves was threatening to explode. It was as if he had just gone through long hours of reminiscent, cruising through a long tunnel of time frame and coming back to a reality where he was holding Noiz in his hands. They had gone through so much together, they had seen every other parts of each other they knew and never knew – and now, all they ever wanted was to have each other by their side, the thought alone enough to suffice their eternal longing.

“Hmm?” Noiz hummed softly. He looked so perfectly _gorgeous_ under the moonlight, light shone on his face and gave him a charming gradient on his skin. There were pale signs of wrinkles on his face and Aoba wanted so much to kiss them away, to keep his brat as a brat but all he did was tracing a finger against them, then letting out a small chortle.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just wondering how far we have been through with each other.”

“Indeed,” Noiz agreed with a smile. Picking Aoba’s hand up to kiss the back of it, he mumbled against the slightly darkened skin. “I wouldn’t have come so far if not because of you.”

“Don’t say things like that,” Aoba laughed a tiny one. “It’s because of your own determination and nature that has come to this.”

Noiz shook his head, pressing Aoba’s palm against his face. His eyes were still twinkling with hint of want and when he spoke, his breathing was heavy and his tone equally so. “You were the one who gave me those. I owe you my entire life.”

Aoba didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell Noiz what to think and if Noiz was to tell him that _he_ was the one who had brought him here, then he could only believe it.

They kissed again, this time, a kiss that was intended to take each other’s breath away. In the midst of it, Aoba could hear Noiz taking off his clothes, all the while still with his mouth on Aoba. Then, he felt his weight on him, his bleak, coarse texture of skin a contrast to Aoba’s tanned, burning one. He moaned into Noiz’s mouth, the skin-against-skin contact giving out an eccentric sense of electrical shock all over his body and causing him to shiver out of reflex. He felt safe in Noiz’s arms, the slight impact distracting his mind for a second and made worse when Noiz snaked a hand onto his chest and pinched his nipple, causing him to jolt.

“Noiz…” he managed to call out to him when they were given a transitory second to breathe. Noiz was wearing this tender smile on his face and Aoba wanted so much to touch him but then Noiz pulled on the band of his boxer, giving him taunting look that spelled of crave and the next thing he knew he was succumbing to Noiz’s desire, fighting for breath when Noiz wrenched his boxer out of the way.

“What a nice view.”

He’d closed his eyes out of spur self-consciousness but as Noiz’s voice pulsated in his ears, he cracked an eye open, supporting himself up with his elbows to look at where Noiz was staring and found his voice stuck in his throat.

His erection was half-hard, precum budding on the tip but that wasn’t why he wanted to dig a hole and hide himself for the rest of his life. He was tanned all over but _not_ his lower part, which was still the same skin tone as before he got sunburned and it was causing his dick to appear even more enunciated with fair skin tone contrasting the tanned skin surrounding it.

His dick gave an enticed twitch when Noiz fondled with his balls, squeezing them nimbly as he took pleasure in the sight of Aoba’s dick lifting his head, made bulging with the moonlight shimmering unswervingly on it.

“Don’t…” Aoba started, his head overheating from the mortification. “Don’t stare.”

“Hmm?” Noiz strummed under his breath, his free hand now lifted to rub on Aoba’s dick. “It’s not like I’ve never seen this before, you know?”

“It’s not that,” Aoba said, voice soft. “It’s just… ah, I wouldn’t be able to stand very long if you keep… ugh, doing this…”

“You’re beautiful,” Noiz said, a response that was not related to what Aoba had just said. He pumped on Aoba’s dick, another hand groping his balls and Aoba wanted so much to hide his face from Noiz’s view, an attempt to preserve the last of his sanity.

“I’m turning old soon,” he mumbled, a fragile effort to bolster his dignity. “I would be wrinkly and ugly and—ah!”

Noiz had chosen that time to squeeze on the tip of Aoba’s dick, causing him to arch his back and come all over his abdomen, his muscles contracted, body shivering weakly as bubbled moans fell from his lips.

“You were saying?” Noiz said in a nonchalant manner. His hand wet with Aoba’s release, he held onto Aoba’s dick as it jerked and leaked through the last of its tremor.

Aoba took a moment to fine-tune his breathing, chest heaving up and down before he flung a glare at Noiz’s direction. He was stirred up and the accumulated heat on his body only made his skin tone all the more seductive than it already was.

“—that I won’t last very long if my age is to catch up to me,” he ended the sentence he wanted to say before Noiz interrupted him with his own orgasm.

Noiz smirked. He sucked Aoba’s cum clean from his fingers with obscene enthusiasm before he worked on taking his own boxer off, the cloth material soggy with a deep pool of colour in one spot which Aoba knew was a result of his leaking precum. His dick was already rock-hard when he took his boxer off, the sight of it provocative enough to have Aoba’s entire body thrummed with pleasure building between his legs. His own dick raised its head again, stiffening even more when he witnessed Noiz using his own semen to coat the length of his cock, squelching sound reverberated vulgarly in the narrow space as Aoba gulped down his throat at the blunt scene.

Noiz curved a suggestive smile upon seeing the view. His face came in again, magnetically drawn to Aoba’s lips as they kissed messily, tongue intertwined with each other and hot breath mingling in the air. Aoba slipped his hand in between their bodies to find his dick, to rub it against Noiz’s navel piercing while Noiz continued stroking his own dick, its precum dripped and blended with Aoba’s cum on his abdomen. When both of their erections pressed against each other, Aoba groaned and pushed against Noiz, hips grinding and chasing after a longed pleasure that only Noiz could give him. All he could feel was this lightheaded intimacy, their bodies pressed against each other, their kiss ravenous, their cocks grazing against each other. He was completely lost, his dick taking control over his conscious mind. When Noiz’s finger slithered towards his hole, he spread his legs like it was the most natural thing to do and cinched them around Noiz’s waist, waiting for Noiz to rub his finger against his hole.

His heart was beating on an insane rate and his mind clouded with insane need. He wanted Noiz so, so much now his breathing came terse and he was clumsy at requesting for Noiz. He bit at Noiz’s tongue and moaned into his mouth, using all the body language his sensible mind could yield, desperately trying to transmit the message to Noiz.

He was _craving_ for it – he wanted Noiz _in_ him, to _feel_ him in a more intimate way and to _connect_ with him in a way so unbelievably close so that they could share a deeper bond in every aspect their existence could conjure.

He made a frantic moan into Noiz’s mouth when Noiz shoved one finger into him, as deep as he could go, his finger sunk up to his knuckle, then pulling out again and thrusting it back in again, in and out again, waiting patiently with impatience obvious in his body movement for the muscle to release on its own. Years after having sex with Noiz he’d never once take preparing Aoba easily. Now and then, it was Aoba who’d become the antsy one, wanting them to be connected and feeling that he was more than prepared until he felt the first inch of Noiz inside of him. If ever, _Noiz_ should be the impatient one between the both of them and yet, he took his time with Aoba, observing his face all the while he let the fire within him build up and when Aoba was _finally_ ready, he released a contented hum and started to move a little more, more aggressively. He found his prostate and pushed against it, sparking a fiery pleasure all over Aoba, urging him to clutch onto Noiz’s wrist to contain the spasmodic tremor.

“Sorry, was it too rough?” Noiz asked, voice profound and flirtatious and every ounce of it should be illegal.

“N-no,” Aoba responded, attention a little rumpled with tears accumulated at the corners of his eyes. “K-keep doing it, feels good…”

His words were scattered, punctuated, and he was out of breath he found talking hard but Noiz got his message loud and clear. He carefully inserted two fingers and Aoba gripped harder when the familiar sense of discomfort, of being stretched and filled coursed through his body. He was opening himself up and the thought alone was swallowing him alive. The discomfiture of it slowly faded with pleasure building up with every rub of Noiz’s fingers against his prostate, his breathing a mess, his mind a mess, his fuzzy eyes reflecting of nothing but intense need and he wondered if Noiz could hear how hard his heart was beating at this moment, and if he could feel how much he needed Noiz now.

A kiss on his forehead, his cheek, then his jaw and it was enough to send Aoba into a sense of bliss as he murmured Noiz’s name, surrendering his body to pleasure.

“Noiz, it’s—ah, it’s enough,” he managed to say through raucous gasps.

“You sure?” Noiz asked, fingers stilled inside of Aoba.

“I wouldn’t be able to last any longer if you keep doing it,” Aoba admitted. Age was catching up to him, sure, but above all, he _desperately_ needed Noiz and every second felt too long for his patience to endure.

He reached downwards, finding Noiz’s dick, eyes brightening at how _wet_ it has become as he used his precum to stroke it. Noiz closed his eyes, allowing himself to be engulfed by the heavenly sensation for a brief moment then opening his eyes when Aoba guided his cock to his hole, positioning it in a way where Noiz could easily thrust into it.

Noiz peered into Aoba’s eyes, his light-brown orbs reflecting the placid light from the moon as he traced a finger along his cheek, wondering how lucky he was to be able to spend his entire lifetime with this man. Then, he nudged himself into Aoba, both of them groaned the instant he did that, their breathing in synced. The impact was instantaneous. Aoba could feel the building pit on his body, his flesh skewered tight around Noiz’s intrusion. It felt good in ways he couldn’t describe, his body seemed to have a better idea than his conscious mind would ever had. Yearning for more, he lifted his ass a bit more to give Noiz better access, and Noiz, noting the hint, dug his nails into Aoba’s hips and pushed his way slowly into the tight passage of Aoba’s body. Aoba closed his eyes, attempting to adapt to the return of distress but nothing was more sensational than the thought of having Noiz inside him, the very idea sweeping all alienation Aoba had flat-out away.

“Noiz…” he moaned. “Do you… feel good when you’re inside me?”

Noiz released a breathless chuckle, sweat dripping along his suave features, beads of it dropping on Aoba’s torso as he spoke.

“No one else but you could make me feel this way,” he said between pants. “It feels good inside of you, almost unbelievable.”

Their thoughts matched; what Noiz thought was what Aoba thought.

“Yes… Please, Noiz,” he pleaded, staring as Noiz towered over him, at how his boyfriend was projecting such intense lust towards him. He needed Noiz and he needed him now. “You can move, fill me up, please… I—“

Noiz groaned and started moving. He didn’t speak anymore, instead, he grunted and panted, angling his cock against Aoba’s prostate again and again, focusing the right pressure onto the familiar spot he knew of Aoba and getting Aoba to quiver with pleasure in overstimulated body. His hands left Aoba’s hips, reaching upwards to twirl on Aoba’s sensitive bud and all Aoba could see was stars in his head. Noiz’s hand felt so good on him; coarse skin tingling every inch of his tanned skin, adding onto the pleasure that was already crushing him from the inside. The moment Noiz turned his attention to his cock instead, he came almost instantly, so turbulently that his breath got stuck in his lungs and causing him to moan open-mouthed.

“I’m starting to believe that you won’t be able to last long with your age now catching up to you,” Noiz smirked, still panting profoundly. “Two times now and I’m not even close to coming yet.”

“Sh-shut up…” Aoba wheezed. His body was fatigued and every inch of his muscles hurt but he didn’t want this to end, not yet. He still wanted to feel Noiz, he still wanted to be able to feel how good this felt when he was still able to.

Noiz lifted a grin and started going wild on Aoba, as if he’d just read Aoba’s mind. His panting was desperate, impatient and needy, hips snapping forward as he thrust into Aoba, thoroughly shattering Aoba’s overly sensitive body and when he came, Aoba’s vision burst with a sea of white. His body tensed, gritting his teeth while Aoba contracted his muscles and squeezed on his cock, all his motion froze against Aoba’s body and Aoba hadn’t even gotten the time to relax before he felt several judders of _hot_ semen pumped into him, followed by a grunted moan from Noiz.

They were both worn out. Noiz’s hand still on Aoba’s softening cock when he slumped forward, wrapping his other hand around Aoba’s chest.

“That was…” Aoba said, finally finding his voice. “…felt so good…”

He heard Noiz’s chuckle and he swore he’d never heard a voice so phenomenal like that. Noiz supported himself up to kiss Aoba on the lips again, the angle awkward but his kiss pleasant and fulfilling enough to compensate for that.

“So good, indeed,” Noiz said, visibly out of breath. “I can keep doing this to you forever.”

This time, it was Aoba’s turn to chuckle as he raised a weak hand to ruffle Noiz on the hair.

“I’m getting old,” he said. “I won’t last long.”

Noiz fell silent, immediately causing Aoba to worry if he’d said something wrong.

“This body,” he continued, almost too quickly. “it will become weaker across the years, my muscles would not be as sturdy as they are now and my bones would bound to be more fragile too. But,” he pushed himself up, feeling Noiz slipping out of him and making way for him to sit so that he could cup Noiz on the face. “I want to keep doing this with you too. I want to keep feeling you inside of me, your warmth, your pleasure, your emotions.” Taking a breath, he kissed Noiz on the forehead, then on the tip of his nose. “Would you look after me till then? Until both of us are no longer capable of moving?”

“I’ll look after you even after both of us are no longer capable of moving,” Noiz responded, a tenderly amorous smile spread across his face. “And in return, you will keep looking after me, and keep being by my side?”

He heard it again – that hint of insecurity. So he threw a broad grin at Noiz’s direciton and pulled him over for a firm hug.

“Of course, I don’t intend to break that promise. Ever.”

If Noiz wanted to renew their wedding again and again, Aoba would allow him to do it. If Noiz wanted him to look after him, entrusting his entire life to him for the rest of his life, he’d oblige to it no matter how many times Noiz was to ask.

They’d made a vow after all. And even without an official pledge, Aoba would still withhold his promise to keep Noiz by his side, regardless if Noiz was to ask him or not.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t know when he started to grow fond towards the bell chiming in a distance. It gave him a sense of reassurance; every chime of it hitting right into his chest, reminding him of the countless recitation he’d spoke out to his husband. He couldn’t remember every detail of it, but he remembered how he felt – the tight clasp of his chest, the paralyzing emotions that were threatening to break him apart.

He remembered every one of those.

 

_` I take you as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your triumphs and and mourn your losses as though they were my own. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years and all that life may bring us.` _

_` I love you unconditionally and without hesitation. I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you and respect you. As a family, we will create home filled with learning, laughter, and compassion. I promise to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality knowing that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. ` _

_` Today, I choose you to be my husband. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life.` _

_` Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?` _

“I will.”

They sat on the bench, reminiscing all the ups and downs they’d been through. Time was free from strife; time stopped for them. They were similar, yet different. They were everything they wanted to become; they were each other’s role model.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.”

Aoba leaned his head against Noiz’s shoulder, humming softly to the memories of their past as he indulged himself in the domesticated wind blowing against his hair. It’d been a few decades after they pronounced the same vow at each other – after they promised to share their life with each other and after they promised to devote their life to each other.

A few decades later, none of them had ever regretted. They held each other firm in their hands, gave each other the support they needed, cried and laughed at each other’s triumphs and miseries.

But there was never a day when they were separated from each other, despite what had happened and would happen between them.

“I love you, Noiz…” Aoba whispered, completely out of his own conscious.

Noiz strummed under his breath, an acknowledgement Aoba knew the answer of.

They were old and wrinkly, they were weak in arms and muscles but they were strong in heart. They intertwined their fingers together as they smiled at the setting sun, fingers touching each other’s ring as warmth embraced their bodies, their existences.

“I’m so glad to have met you in this life,” Noiz said after a short-lived silence. “You changed my life.”

“Likewise,” Aoba chuckled.

Never in his life would he ever expect a sheer brat to give such a huge impact to his life. But there were no regrets, none at all.

“You’ll keep looking after me, right?” Noiz asked, thumb caressing the back of Aoba’s hand.

“Of course,” he said, feeling the grip on his hand tighten.

It was a lifelong vow after all – that they had promised to always be each other’s biggest fan and partner in crime, that they would grow old together, and to grow together. And that they would always be there, believing in each other, until death does them apart.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I've been wanting to write a wedding NoiAo fic for the longest time ever and this is just the perfect chance. I wanted it to be short and simple but I thought 'Hey, how dare I half-ass a NoiAo wedding fic' so at the end of the day - here you go, a humongous wedding fic with probably is the fluffiest and grossest thing I'll ever write. I hope you enjoy this first part and I hope the second part (which consists of their honeymoon night, of course) would keep you happy.
> 
> Thanks for reading, as usual c:


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